In the Rain
by Tinkerbell3902
Summary: She had made some colossal mistakes in the past but nothing compared to this. This went beyond self-destructive. Why was it that every single time she had everything that she could want, she always took a sledgehammer and smashed it to bits? JoLu One-Shot


**A/N**: Hello all! I hope you guys had (and will continue to have) a wonderful holiday! So it was pouring out here in Los Angeles a few days ago when I started this piece and as I was listening to this song, I just had this idea pop into my head. Of course the original version of the song is by The Dramatics but the version that I listened to (and that's quoted) is the cover by Xscape. It's a bit long for a one-shot and it's kinda all over the place but I couldn't help but to let the story take me where it wanted to take me! So, happy reading! Hope you like it!

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_Once the rain starts falling on my face  
Then you won't see a single trace  
Right now I think I'm cryin'  
Because of you, I'm dying  
Don't want you to see me cry  
Let me go, let me go, let me go…_

_I just wanna go outside…_

_In the rain…_

"In the Rain" - Xscape

**In the Rain**

God, she had really screwed up this time.

She had made some colossal mistakes in the past but nothing compared to this. This went beyond self-destructive. Why was it that every single time she had everything that she could want, she always took a sledgehammer and smashed it to bits? It was as if she was afraid to be happy, afraid to want the things that she knew that she deserved.

Afraid to be loved in the way that he said he always would.

That was the real reason why she had pushed him and his overtures of his love and devotion away. Having someone like him, loving her in the way that he did, meant something bigger than what she thought that she was ready for.

At least until six hours ago.

She nearly slipped on the slick cobblestone at the overlook. The storm was picking up momentum, soaking the town to the bone. She sunk down to the ground, letting her sobs take over her body, and buried her face in her hands, not knowing where her own tears stopped and the raindrops began.

This was her fault.

She had realized too late that she wanted him, to be married to him, to be his wife and to have his kids. She realized that she was ready for that "forever" that he talked about so much. She wailed even louder at the thought of the life that they would never have together and clutched her stomach. She could've had the life that she had always dreamed about with him and instead, she threw it all away because she thought that she knew better.

But she was wrong.

"Lulu!"

Between the sound of the pouring rain and her cries, she almost didn't hear his voice. She glanced upward and saw his blurry figure running towards her through her tears. The sound of his voice made her want to cry more but also brought the faintest smile to her face, taking solace in his presence, for whatever reason he decided to come looking for her. He was carrying a large black umbrella and knelt down to her level, shielding her from the storm with it.

"Johnny…" she sighed.

Johnny Zacchara, giving into his savior complex that he seemed to reserve mostly for her, immediately stripped off his jacket and draped it around her trembling shoulders. He was panting, like he had been running all over town, and his eyes were wide with worry. However, his tension seemed to ease as his hand came to her cheek and she sighed at the warmth of it against her skin, like he was happy to see her. She didn't know why she had been looking for her but she was just glad that he was the one to find her.

"Lulu, what the hell are you doing out here in this storm?" he cried.

He was holding her face in his hands and she began sobbing again. She couldn't stand crying, especially in front of him and knowing that he was the reason why she was so unhappy. She tried to look away from him but he wouldn't let her tear her eyes away from his.

"How'd you find me?" she whispered.

"Dante practically has the entire town out looking for you… we all feared the worst when we saw your totaled car." Johnny said.

Hearing Dante's name come from Johnny's lips made Lulu feel sick to her stomach. It was her inability to choose between the two of them that had led her to this predicament that they were all in now. But the fact that Johnny could say Dante's name without a hint of malice was enough to let her know that he was more worried about her than whatever drama that was going on between the three of them.

"Dante sent you to look for me?" she squeaked.

"Come on… we have to get you out of this storm… it can't be good for the baby…" he said, trying to bring her to her feet.

Lulu felt her entire body freeze at his words. **He knew**. He knew about the baby that she was carrying but that wasn't what shook her to her core. The way that he said it was just so nonchalant that it was unsettling. Maybe he didn't care about her anymore. God knows that she didn't deserve it after all the hell that she had put him through over the past year. He should've just washed his hands of her months ago.

"You—You know? About the baby?" she stammered, still in disbelief.

"Another thing Dante told me…" he said quietly.

"Johnny…" she began but he shook his head.

"Don't, Lulu… I don't want to hear it…" he said as his voice slightly broke.

"Johnny, I was at your party at the MetroCourt. I came to see you… to tell you everything…" she started.

He seemed genuinely surprised at her admission and she didn't blame him. She had done everything in her power to push him away but she had come to the MetroCourt to finally tell him what he had been begging to hear from her: she and Dante were over and she wanted to be with him. After lying to Dante and herself for months, saying that she wanted to be with only Dante and to make a life with him, she finally came clean about her and Johnny and the pregnancy. She could see that it hurt Dante to hear her confirm what he already knew, probably more than he would've ever admitted to her, but she couldn't live in this lie anymore.

"And when I walked in, you were announcing that you had proposed to Olivia and she said yes…" she said.

Her voice broke off as she finished her phrase and she buried her face in her hands. The pain of hearing that the love of her life was planning to marry another woman was something that she had never experienced in her life, especially when she was carrying his child.

He was going to have a life, _without her in it._

By the time she had gotten by the wheel of her car, she was already in hysterics. Between her tears, the rain and thinking back to seeing Johnny and Olivia embrace lovingly, she could barely see the road ahead of her and swerved off the road and into a tree. She pulled her hands away from her face and saw Johnny look away, almost as if he were ashamed of what he had done.

"Let's—Let's get you to the hospital…" he said, quickly trying to change the subject.

She knew that he didn't want to talk about what had happened and she didn't blame him. She had hurt him over and over again, more deeply than any other woman had hurt him before. He attempted to bring her to her feet but she shook her head vehemently, burying her face into his shirt and continuing with her tears. Yes, he belonged to someone else but for this small moment, he was hers and she wasn't about to let that go.

"No… not yet… please…" she sobbed.

"Lu, everyone's worried about you…" he sighed.

"I don't care, Johnny… I just want to be with you…" she insisted.

"Damnit, Lulu… you told me that you didn't want me! What the hell was I supposed to do? Just sit around and wait for you? Just in case if you changed your mind? You're carrying another man's child for christssake!" he cried.

She looked up at him sharply at his outburst. She knew that he was angry with her for trying to get him back after he had been trying to move on but she never expected him to be upset with her for having another man's child. He was angry because he **thought** that this baby was Dante's.

"This baby is yours, Johnny! I was at the MetroCourt to tell you that I told Dante everything and that I wanted a life with you and our baby!" she wailed, putting her hands on her stomach.

Shock registered on the young man's face at her words. She didn't know what the bigger shock to him was: the fact that she was pregnant with his child or that she had actually gone through with ending her relationship with the police detective. He had accused her on multiple occasions of enjoying the fact that she had both of them at her beck and call and not wanting to make a choice between the two of them. But he was wrong.

Because there was no choice to make.

It was always Johnny. It was always going to be him. From the time she was nineteen until she turned ninety, she was always going to choose him. She had always loved him and always would. It wasn't that she hadn't loved Dante, but she just hadn't loved him like she loved Johnny.

"It's mine? You're sure?" he asked.

"Dante found the pregnancy test that I took and he asked me, point blank, if it was yours… he knew that we hadn't been together in months, Johnny… _this is your child_…" she said.

"How long have you known?" he asked.

"Two days… Dante found the pregnancy test last night and we ended things right before I came to the MetroCourt looking for you… to tell you that I love you—" she began.

"—And that's when you heard about me proposing to Olivia…" he said.

She couldn't help it but to burst into tears again. Maybe it was her hormones going haywire, making her even more emotional than she already was, but she couldn't stop herself. She felt her legs go weak beneath her but Johnny caught her and scooped her up into his arms. As she trembled and cried in his arms, he carried her back towards his car, peppering soft kisses along her cheek. The gesture was so gentle and tender that it took her by surprise because she wasn't even sure if she deserved it. She could barely remember the car ride through the rain and her admittance to the hospital because she was so exhausted from running and for being out in the freezing cold rain.

"Johnny?"

She found herself in a room at General Hospital, hooked up to multiple machines. She felt, and probably looked, like hell and Johnny was nowhere to be found. Her eyes began to water again, realizing that Johnny hadn't forgiven her for all that she had done. Even after she had confessed her love for him and her desire to be a family with him and their baby, he was still going back to Olivia.

"Lu?"

She looked up and saw Johnny in the doorway. He was carrying some flowers that the hospital gift shop sold and she smiled. He set the flowers next to numerous other floral arrangements that were brought in while she had been sleeping and came to her bedside.

"I thought that you'd left me…" she whispered, clutching his hand.

"No, I just—I had to speak to Olivia about everything that's happened. I had to be honest with her." Johnny said quietly.

"I understand." Lulu sighed, looking away from gaze.

She knew that it was stupid of her to get her hopes up that she and Johnny could be a family with their baby just based on those short moments of tenderness that he had shown her when he brought her to the hospital. However, out of the corner of her eye, she saw him rummaging through his coat pocket until he pulled out something small and glittering. The object caught her attention and she turned back around to face him and gasped in recognition.

_It was his mother's engagement ring._

"Johnny, what—what're you doing?" she stuttered as she straightened up her posture in bed.

"I think I'm about to ask you to marry me…" he said.

Words completely failed her in that moment. She never thought that he would want to come back to her but now here he was, at her bedside, asking her to marry him. He was looking at her earnestly, patiently waiting for an answer, and she couldn't help but to wonder where this proposal was coming from. She did just tell him that she was pregnant with his child and perhaps this was him doing the honorable thing by marrying the woman that he knocked up.

"Because I'm pregnant with your child?" she asked.

"No… because I love you. I want you to be my wife because I love you." he said.

She should've known the answer to that question. It wasn't the first time that he had asked her to marry him but things were different now: she was pregnant and he was technically promised to someone else. Stuff like that tended to change things.

"You asked for the ring back from Olivia?" she asked.

And something that she didn't expect happened. A look of incredulity passed over Johnny's perfect features, like her question was possibly the most ridiculous thing that he had ever heard. He looked down at the ring, a beautiful emerald cut diamond that was fit for royalty, and shook his head slightly.

"I never gave Olivia this ring… this ring was always meant for you, Lulu." Johnny said.

The way that he said it, with such certainty, made tears come to her eyes. He had always known that they would be together. After everything that had happened between the two of them, he still loved her and wanted to be with her. He reached over and wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled.

"You seem surprised…" he chuckled.

"Of course I am! I didn't—I didn't think you wanted me anymore…" she cried happily.

"I will **always** want you, Lulu… you, me and this baby are going to be a family…" he said, placing a hand on her stomach.

She gripped the collar of his shirt and buried her face into the crook of his neck as she began crying again. If this was a dream, she never wanted to wake up. She knew what it felt like to lose him once, to feel that emptiness and that uncertainty about how to go on without him and this time she had almost had to contemplate raising this baby on her own. She let out a sigh of relief. It was nothing short of a miracle that they had found their way back to each other. She and this new baby on the way would have him.

Forever.

He held her face in his hands and she could see his own tears fill up his eyes as well, grateful for this second chance to make a life with each other. He let out a shaky breath as he held up the ring to her. The gesture on its own was a silent plea for her to be his forever but he managed to find the words to the question that she had been longing to say yes to.

"So, will you marry me?" he whispered.

He carefully slid the ring onto her finger and she couldn't help but to smile and let out a watery laugh at the sight of the gem on her finger. They made quite a pair. They never managed to do anything right. They had first made love without going on an official "first date," they realized that they couldn't live without each other after they had committed themselves to other people, they had stayed away from each other because they loved one another too much, and then there was the arrival of this baby before they even could figure out what they were to each other.

Yet, she wouldn't have changed a thing. They were just perfect that way.

"It's all I've ever wanted..." she sighed.


End file.
